Your child isn't a little kid anymore. They have grown into becoming a teenager, and it could be the time for you to start tweaking your parenting skills. Your teen or tween will open a new door of thoughts for you. Most likely they will test your limits, as well as patience. Don't forget that they are still a child. They may not admit it, but secretly they need you.
Expect the worst
At times teenagers can be unpredictable. You expect your son(s) and daughter(s) to stay as a child, just like the old days, where you used to cuddle, kiss, and shower them, but over time do not be surprised if the beloved one secretly turns into a monster.
You thought you could raise your teen as a well-mannered, respectful, hardworking person, but sometimes the opposite may happen. This will set you, and you're teen to go through difficult times, possibly where you have regular arguments, unhappy or unsatisfying days, for months or even years.
The common myth is that teenagers assume that they are doing good just because they are not doing anything wrong, such as taking drugs or hanging around with the wrong crowd.
Therefore, advice for parents about dealing with teenage problems can be useful, particularly during turmoil times. Your negative expectations could worsen the situation, and things could quickly get out of control. Do not promote fear, negative behaviours, or distrust, as it can be damaging and unhelpful.
Studies have shown that parents who consider their teen(s) as a troublemaker, offensive, obscene, and bad mannered, are at higher risk of leaving school, and may lead to undesirable outcomes.
Instead of dabbling around and continually worrying about your son or daughter, focus on their interests and hobbies, and try to take your relationship to another level, where there is trust, understanding, security, and more importantly love. Even if you find yourself unable to understand your teen, you can build a lasting relationship by having regular discussions, so that he/she feels comfortable, and at ease. This will open a new path of connectivity, love and be learning new things together.?????
It can be troublesome if you religiously follow parenting books and advice. It's okay for you to get some information and guidance, just like this article, but you must recognise that your child is an individual, they have their unique personality and upbringing. Remeber that one size does not fit all.
Instead, try to understand your child first, after all, they're yours, a significant part of your life. Then, believe in yourself that no one can better understand your child than you. Treat and help them the way they are.
Avoid small issues about your teen, such as the dress they are planning to wear. Even if you don't like it, don't worry, their choice will eventually change over time. Be there to guide and comfort them. You are their parent, step back and let your child know that you are always there for them.
As part of parenting for teens, what we are suggesting is for you to keep an eye on the big issues, rather than dealing with trivial (or unimportant) matters. Check for unexpected changes in your child's behaviour, appearance, friends, and academic performance. This will help you identify the problems well in advance. Let your child recognise the balance between obedience and freedom. When it comes to disciplining a child, you must be patient and willing to work hard with them.
Don't get too rigid or too lenient. Let your child know the value of discipline in life. If they are not doing well, give them time to learn. Do not enforce it but remind them time to time. The importance of discipline will eventually sink in and develop naturally.